Elevate Your Social IQ: The Communication Skills Masterclass

In this opening lesson, your instructor, Kain Ramsay, will introduce you to the course structure, a few introductory ideas, and this will help enable you to manage your expectations effectively throughout the next 15+ hours of on-demand video-based teaching and demonstrations.

Identifying Your Communication and People Goals

Among the most important life skills, we can develop is the ability to communicate clearly. Effective communication is the process of transferring information in a way that is understood.

By viewing communications from the position of agreement or disagreement, our assumptions heavily influence what we interpret in a communication. Never try to communicate 'right; instead communicate 'real'.'

To gain even more benefit from this online training experience beyond just watching the pre-recorded instructional videos, here are some of the different ways you can achieve this. Access 100's of articles, 100's more FREE video tutorials, and browse the inspiring Achology Quotes website!

This brief onboarding article offers basic course instructions and directs you to Udemy Support for any questions or issues you might encounter while using the Udemy website.

The Foundational Assumptions of Communication (Part 1)

We can evaluate the effectiveness of our communication by evaluating the depth of connection we have with the people in our lives. We will either communicate with the intention of impressing others or connecting with them.

Every day, we communicate not only by what we say but also by what we commit to. The truth is that no one way of communicating is right or wrong; there are just a variety of degrees of difference. This video is part 1 of 2.

The Foundational Assumptions of Communication (Part 2)

We can evaluate the effectiveness of our communication by evaluating the depth of connection we have with the people in our lives. We will either communicate with the intention of impressing others or connecting with them.

Every day, we communicate not only by what we say but also by what we commit to. The truth is that no one way of communicating is right or wrong; there are just a variety of degrees of difference. This video is part 1 of 2.

The Art of Communicating From the Heart

There is a meaning to every communication. Social effectiveness and healthy relationships come from learning how to communicate principles in an open and ambiguous manner that is not constrained by our own subjective perspectives.

Any communication that is less than caring, kind, clear, and deliberate can easily result in misunderstanding, misdirection, confusion, and upset.

The Four Stages of Misinterpretation

Some people allow misinterpretation to destroy their relationships, their families, and their careers. In this video, we'll examine a model we can use to better understand communication phases and why communications tend to go south.

Sometimes, there is nothing wrong with our communication; it's just that people judge and misunderstand - and there is nothing people can do to change this.

Insights: The Albert Mehrabian Formula

Albert Mehrabian, a world-renowned psychologist, proposed that three factors determine our perception of people: the words they use, their tone of voice, and the body language they exhibit.

Our communication is not only a matter of what we say but also of how we say it through our tone of voice and body language. To interact with people successfully, it is crucial to learn and employ discernment.

Communication Foundations: 9 Types of Listening

It is common for people to think about communications in terms of the words they can use to impress others, how they can persuade others or manipulate them into their own opinion.

It is important to note that communication is about much more than what we say; listening is a crucial aspect of communication. Listening constitutes half of all communication, and there are a number of types.

Communication Foundations: Focus on Discriminative Listening

Whether you’re networking, starting a new job or trying to land a client, strong listening skills can help you effectively communicate in professional settings.

You can benefit greatly from learning about the different types of listening, all of which are important to understand both in personal relationships and at work. In this video, Kain offers further insights regarding discriminative listening.

Core Conditions for Respectful Communicating

Carl Rogers, a psychologist from the 1940s, created a paradigm shift by proposing that people grow the most when they are listened to and understood.

He suggested that there are core conditions that must be in place to maintain respectful communications that help to bring out the best in people and which lay a solid foundation through which we can listen to others well. Respectful communication is when we listen carefully and respond kindly to others, even if we don’t fully understand them.

Demonstration: The Core Conditions for Respectful Communicating

There are times when seeing a demonstration of how something works in practice helps us to apply information to our personal lives more easily. In this video, you'll have the opportunity to watch Kain demonstrate the three core conditions while in an undirected dialogue with Karen.

Nine Attitudes of Unconditional Positive Regard

Some people live their lives reactively, reacting to things and events in their lives. We have all been guilty of jumping to the worst-case conclusion of others rather than trying to comprehend their perspective.

The best way to understand people is to understand why they do the things they do. People become influential when we help them identify patterns and trends in their lives.

The Four Basic Styles of Verbal Communication

The majority of the time, we will not trust people who haven't shown us that they are interested in understanding us. It is through communication and dialogue that we can cooperate and connect with each other. As a means of improving the effectiveness of our communications, it is imperative that we understand the differences between the four main styles of verbal communication.

The Prerequisites of Positive Social Influence

The fact remains that we are all constantly communicating; not all of it is verbal. Many people wish to have a positive impact on their relationships. When we communicate, our ability to control ourselves emotionally is what gives us influence. To become more influential in our relationships, we need to understand the prerequisites of positive social influence.

The Pre-Communicating 'Full Cycle' Model

Only by increasing our self-awareness are we able to better identify the aspects of ourselves that we should better manage; only through doing this are we able to become more capable of managing ourselves and becoming more socially aware of those around us.

Reflection before a communication will influence your ability to prepare yourself for that communication. In other words, how well you prepare for communication will determine how well you deliver.

Six Factors that Undermine Relational Connecting

This lesson might change how you view communication. Most people see communication as being important, but it’s often in the back of our minds or viewed as something that “just happens.”

Putting communication at the front of your mind and becoming more aware of how you communicate can have many positive effects. This teaching will explore the factors that undermine healthy connecting.

End of Section One Check-In

We solidify our learnings when we take time to self-reflect and apply the principles we're learning about in the context of our own lives. Throughout this video, there are a series of questions that you can use to consider your main learnings from this section of the course.

Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

We've examined various principles of healthy communication so far, which have laid the foundation upon which we will build as we examine the "how" of communication in this section.

The concepts we'll cover in this teaching will help you become a more effective communicator even before you open your mouth. It is only ever useful to communicate with someone who is receptive to communication.

A Practical Guide to Conversational Influence

Each of us has a communication style that is either directive or non-directive. In directive communications, a person assumes what they know is truth and forces a message upon others.

In non-directive communications, the approach is usually more subtle to improve reception and to provoke awareness. This teaching will help you to understand the differences between the two.

A Discussion of Directive and Non-Directive Communications

People sometimes use directive methods of communication, which can often lead to the other party shutting down because they feel judged. A more effective approach we can take is non-directive in nature - through which we have the opportunity to ask questions of intrigue, speak to the voids that people have in their lives and highlight the opportunity they have for growth.

Insights: The Three Levels of Discerning

Discernment is the ability to perceive accurately or judge well. In the case of judgement, discernment can be psychological, moral or philosophical in nature. Discerning is about reading people and recognizing where they are; it's different from assuming we know what is true for another person. Our perception of a person can be gleaned from their words as well as their body language and voice.

Fundamentals of Human Receptivity

Being overly directive with people and judging them is not a good way to become socially effective. In order to be effective socially, we must be willing to open our hearts to others, accept their perspectives, and take an active interest in learning about others. A seed needs cultivated soil to thrive, similarly, we can cultivate a healthy culture in our communications by being open and nonjudgmental.

Understanding Belief Possibility Spaces

Various categories of information might be included in our communications, but it's important to understand from which categories people tend to disconnect.

Facts are rarely argued against, but people always differ in their interpretation of more abstract concepts (e.g. spirituality, god, mental health, etc.). Let's not become hard-hearted to the words that people use, but rather remain curious.

A Discussion about Unpacking the Meaning of Words

It is natural for different words to mean different things to different people. The problem here is that many people fail to understand that all human beings view the world differently and that two people may use the same phrase in a discussion but have two entirely different meanings. The following discussion provides you with a basis for building more connected interactions with people.

The Five Primary Styles of Communication

Although there are some who believe that personalities and communication styles are fixed, the truth is that these things can and do change over time - personalities and communication styles are fluid in nature.

We do not have a particular style of communication; we just have habits that will change over time. In sum, assertive communication is born from mature self-esteem and is free from manipulation.

The Seven Stages of Human Relationships (Part 1)

To be able to communicate effectively, we must learn to better understand other people - and we do this by understanding how different people view themselves. When the ego speaks, authenticity is not present, so it's vital that we learn to identify our own ego in order to be able to communicate effectively with others.

This video is part 1 of 2.

The Seven Stages of Human Relationships (Part 2)

To be able to communicate effectively, we must learn to better understand other people - and we do this by understanding how different people view themselves. When the ego speaks, authenticity is not present, so it's vital that we learn to identify our own ego in order to be able to communicate effectively with others.

This video is part 2 of 2.

The Seven Stages of Human Relationships: A Discussion

There are several levels of relationship, as you now know. Each stage has its own particular features and risks associated with it. Understanding something about these kinds of stages can assist you in being prepared for these people when you are connecting with them. In this video, Kain and Karen host, a discussion about the different stages of relationship development people go through.

Developing Judgmental Accuracy Through Cognitive Growth

All communications are affected by perception. In the same way that a map is merely a visual representation of the area covered, it is not accurate; our perception is just a lens through which we are viewing; it is not the truth.

If we wish to become more accurate in our discernment of other people, then we have to commit ourselves to the endurable process of cognitive growth.

Reflecting on the Health of Your 'Tongue'

You will speak what is in your heart. If you hold bitterness inside, your words will be shaped and moulded by it. In order to become effective communicators and gain the trust and respect of other people, we need to take care of what we say.

Our words have consequences. When we consider the effects of our tongue, our actions, and our behaviour, we become more effective socially.

Reframing Meanings, Perception and Interpretation

A powerful discipline to develop in life is reframing. If we reframe our interpretation of a situation or interaction, we will automatically change our perception of it. By changing how we perceive something (or someone), we will naturally change how positively or negatively we relate to it.

Demonstration Discussion - The Reframing Game

On a more light-hearted note, Kain and Karen engage in ‘The Reframing Game’ and attempt to demonstrate how important it is to learn to communicate in a way that other people can be naturally receptive to.

People can only relate to how they perceive you, so if you can learn to reframe your communications habitually, you will naturally become more relatable to other people.

Demonstration Discussion - The Reframing Game (Part 2)

On a more light-hearted note, Kain and Karen engage in ‘The Reframing Game’ and attempt to demonstrate how important it is to learn to communicate in a way that other people can be naturally receptive to.

People can only relate to how they perceive you, so if you can learn to reframe your communications habitually, you will naturally become more relatable to other people.

This is the 2nd part of the previous video.

The Stages of Evolution in all Healthy Relationships

Intimate relationships are the prize of social acuity and healthy communication. In a relationship, some people focus on being treated as an equal and having their needs met, but the relationship scales to one of acceptance and intimacy when both parties prioritize the well-being of the relationship rather than just their own needs. This lesson is relevant to all people, the world throughout.

The Stages of Evolution in all Healthy Relationships

Intimate relationships are the prize of social acuity and healthy communication. In a relationship, some people focus on being treated as an equal and having their needs met, but the relationship scales to one of acceptance and intimacy when both parties prioritize the well-being of the relationship rather than just their own needs. This lesson is relevant to all people, the world throughout.

Empowered and Disempowered Relationship Dynamics

There are several types of people who operate within a disempowered relationship dynamic, which can be described as a drama triangle. The alternative is to operate in the growth triangle, where individuals are encouraged to take more responsibility for designing the lives they want.

How to Build Conflict-Resistant Connections

Each of us can model how we want to be treated in our relationships. When we decide what we're willing to tolerate from others, we establish healthy relationship boundaries. To maintain conflict-resistant relationships, trust must be established and maintained at all times. Keeping boundaries is not about keeping others out, but about sometimes keeping ourselves in!

End of Section Two Check In

Reflection allows us to consider how we can apply the principles we're learning in the context of our own lives. This lecture offers you several questions which serve as a basis for your own self-reflection.