Stress Management Course

Welcome to the Easy Stress Management course, for anyone who is experiencing stress. We are in unprecedented times - with the pandemic crisis affecting lives and our economy. Some people have been furloughed, lost income or facing loss in business. Working from home is not easy for all - especially if they have to juggle between childcare and other caring responsibilities.

In this course you will learn effective stress management techniques which will help you at work - especially if you are working from home. Stress  can affect our relationships with our loved ones, peers and customers. In this course you will learn effective communication skills, which will improve your relationships.

So sit back, relax and enjoy the course.

I wish you all the best.

In this lecture, I introduce the concept of Occupational Stress or Burnout and the different causes of Stress. There is a Stress Assessment for you to complete which will give you an indication if you are experiencing stress or not. A score of 4 or more in 2 or more areas is significant.

In the current pandemic crisis, the following factors are also significant causes of stress and anxiety:

1. Financial Impact: The implications for SME and Start-up businesses are that they are facing loss in their businesses. If you are self-employed, in small or medium business, then you will need to make some serious decisions like - staff retention, relocation, furloughing staff or even closing down business for the period. If you are employed, then you may be experiencing uncertainty over the future of your company or organisation, whether you will be furloughed or made redundant and so on.

2. People are experiencing huge stress levels - this is due to the culmination of stress of protecting oneself, preparing for uncertainty and suffering health consequences.

3. Social isolation, loss of work - Prolonged periods of isolation can lead to lack of physical activity, loss of routine or structure thereby impacting on the physical health too. In this course I will take you through simple and easy steps to follow to maintain an optimum and balanced diet, give you tips to keep yourself physically fit during isolation and boost your immunity.

4. Health Issues - This could be chronic health issues which may make you vulnerable in the COVID crisis.

In this section, you will reflect on the your core beliefs which has shaped you react to circumstances in life.

This lecture talks about the different stressors at workplace and teaches strategies on finding solutions.

There are two reflective exercises in the attached worksheet. In the current pandemic, many of you are working from home and may have different and new challenges of working - lets explore them in this segment:

Challenges of working from home during the pandemic:

1. Space: The main one is that of demarcating your workplace, making sure that you are not disturbed. For those of you who are 'perfectionists', and want the ideal environment, you may be setting yourself for disappointment. Be prepared to be interrupted especially if you have small children. Its okay to have the one off interruptions, but if you are struggling with boundaries, you may want to find creative solutions such as making sure your partner is aware of any important meetings and they are away from your room taking care of the kids. You may also want to work flexi-hours, working past children bed time.

2. Lack of motivation: This is a hurdle if you are self employed or working as a free lancer. You could also be in the creative business such as writing, painting etc. Finding the right creative mood may not always come easy and therefore you may find yourself losing time. Here, structure and time table is important. Make a commitment to yourself to yourself to devote at least an hour a day to creative writing or similar work. Begin the day on a positive note, read positive quotes , meditate if this helps. We will go through a meditation segment later in this course.

3. Financial stress: The current pandemic has brought about different challenges of which the biggest is most likely the economic impact. If you are experiencing financial constraints, it is not unfounded to worry about it. But let you thoughts be solution focussed. The government has announced many initiatives to help businesses and self-employed people. Make an expense list - look at areas where you can cut costs now, check your direct debits - can you suspend few memberships organisations? Talk to your bank if they can help suspend few months payments. Talk to your landlord if they would be happy to consider reducing your rent for few months during the crisis. Other strategies if you are an employer include - having a meeting with your employees and consider furloughing too.

Other stressors at work which is applicable in all settings include:

4. Environmental factors - poor light, loud noise

5. Work-load / long working hours

6. Lack of supervision or poor supervision

7.  Exhaustion / coming to work when physically unwell / Health issues

8. Personal life stressors

9. Poor support network/ lack of respect/ lack of recognition / Bullying

10. Dealing with difficult patients / carers /complaints / SI

11. Lack of clarity of job role / Unreasonable & unnecessary tasks

12. Low job autonomy

13. Fear of failure / of letting down the team

14. Poor team dynamics/ Poor leadership / Dysfunctional teams

There is a link between Stress, Depression and Anxiety: some of the symptoms overlap with each other. Here are some of the common symptoms which may be present in stress and if they are not addressed, may lead to depression and anxiety:

• Poor Sleep/Insomnia

• Change in appetite

• Feeling overwhelmed/

• Panic attacks, worry, generalised anxiety

• Low mood

• Poor concentration/ lack of focus

• Irritability

• Sense of hopelessness and helplessness

• Rumination and preoccupation with negative thoughts about the future

For any queries, or to submit your worksheet, please complete your name and email to:

coaching@livinglifestressfree.com

Some themes that may cause stress in relationships include –

- Commitment issues

- Trust issues

- Poor communication

- Not enough time to spend with loved ones

- Finances

- Chronic health issues, if you are a carer for your loved ones and are experiencing relationship difficulties.

- Alcohol and other addiction such as gambling

Strategies that may help are

- Prioritise your loved ones – pay attention to the relationship, value them and

- Keeping the lines of communication open, even if you decide to take a break

- Be open and honest about current issues – e.g., if you lack time, be open and honest about it and try to give at least few minutes a day to your loved ones – undivided attention. When you anticipate you will be busy in the next few days, give your loved ones prior knowledge of your unavailability and you may want to plan an event together after your assignment is finished – such as cooking a meal for your family and enjoying a meal together.

- Work on differences of opinion mutually, respect each other’s opinion

- Seek help if you are in debt

- In cases of addiction, seek professional help

Congratulations! You are half-way through the course, let’s take a moment to reflect on the pandemic of 2020. This has touched all our lives in one way or the another. To those who have lost loved ones, I offer my heartfelt condolences. I also express my deepest gratitude to all the frontline workers who are out there fighting the illness to keep us safe. Many of us are either in lockdown or following social isolation and this has brought about unprecedented challenges.

This pandemic has affected our global economies, people have lost jobs and there are other problems.

But I’m optimistic and confident that whatever the adversity and austerities we may be taking right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. We will overcome this.

This is the time to build on our resilience and our positivity.

This is the time to express love and gratitude to our loved ones. Faced with challenges, people are looking for reassurance, love and support.

In this lecture I also talk about the different types of communication and strategies on how to handle difficult communication.

Look at the bigger picture – remember the company objectives, this will help you in mitigating the anxiety. For e.g., if you are facing huge workload, and feeling frustrated, then look at the bigger picture – this will give you a sense of greater fulfilment and perspective.

Preparation: This has many levels – it is possible to plan a difficult conversation ahead, book a time so that you can prepare in advance, sort out the topics, the agenda, gather objective evidence etc. Just before the meeting, prepare yourself – do an emotional check, are you anxious, feeling tense etc. Take deep breaths, you can meditate for few minutes, focussing on your breathing.

Don’t rush to the difficult subject, begin with a positive message, greet pleasantly, talk about positive areas, compliment on areas of achievement. If you are an employer or a boss, this strategy will make your employees feel valued and well supported.

Next when you come to the difficult subject matter, it’s better to ask an open-ended question. For e.g., if you want to discuss sales or assignment completion with your employee you can begin with a question: How has the last month been for you in terms of generating sales? Were you facing any particular challenges that you would like to discuss about? I noticed that your figures have been dropping – I wonder if you had an explanation for this, I would like to hear your viewpoint? Can you help me understand the struggles?

Make it a constructive criticism, a productive conversation if possible.

Simply criticism without finding real solutions is time and energy wasted, it also affects the morale of staff and peers with no added benefits.

Accepting others for who they are: Recognising that everyone is unique, respecting their differences – this is relevant for our personal relationships too. Each one of us may have a different opinion, or point of view, it is important to develop non-judgemental attitude and listening to the other person’s point of view.

Develop good listening skills: Paying attention and being a good listener has many benefits. It puts you in good light, shows that you are empathic, and you are willing to address the other person’s concerns. It also makes the other person feel supported.

Keep an open mind, avoid blaming anyone directly. If there are areas, that you want the other person to address, put in an objective manner and create accountability. For e.g., if you are an employer who wants the sales to improve, you can set targets for your employee and then explore the different problems that may be affecting the sales.

In 2020, we are facing the unprecedented pandemic which no one prepared for.

It is hard to imagine the implications of this on businesses and other areas, so everyone is facing stress and anxiety. As we are all facing this together, the government is quite supportive with many aid schemes to help businesses and professionals. As an employer or business director, it is important to maintain your cool and address your staff concerns.

Reflect after the conversation: After the meeting, reflect on your discussion, ask for feedback. Think how your non verbal communication may have had an impact.

For any queries, or to submit your worksheet, please complete your name and email to:

coaching@livinglifestressfree.com

Introduction to the 4C approach to stress management – I developed this easy approach after 15 years of work experience as a psychiatrist in the UK, treating stress related mental illnesses. Stress is linked to mental illnesses such Depression, Anxiety, Panic disorders, OCD and chronic physical health conditions such as Diabetes, High Blood pressure and other chronic ilnesses.

I have formulated the following 4 Cs

- CALM

- CLARITY

- CHOICE

- CHANGE

The above steps also addresses lifestyle factors which cause stress like – poor diet, irregular sleep patterns, lack of exercise etc.

CALM has the following steps:

1. Delay Reaction: Our first reaction to stressful triggers is knee jerk response. However, this technique teaches us to delay reaction unless it is a life-threatening danger. For e.g., if you receive a hostile email, instead of responding immediately, take few deep breaths, move away from your desk and go for a short break. You may want to revisit the email, and then analyse.

2. Analyse: In this step, the idea is to look at the problem ‘as it is’. In stress sometimes, fear takes over and we start imagining or visualising the worst outcome. So looking at the problem objectively without attaching our emotions or fear based emotions helps us to gather objective evidence and then we can move to the next step – taking measured response. In the above example, if you have received a challenging and negative email – you don’t understand the email, don’t know why the other party is angry or they are accusing you wrongly. So you may want more information, before you move to the next step -

3. Measured Response: This step will save you from many embarrassing reactions which we often regret – actions we took in rage or in a fit of anger or as a knee jerk reaction. After you have paused and assessed the issue as it is, you can then take a measured response. In most cases, measured response will be phrases such as these:

- Thanks Mr X or Ms Y, for your concern and email, I will respond to your email, as soon as I look into this problem ASAP

- I’m sorry to hear you have felt this way about me. I can assure you that my intention was never to cause you distress, I apologise if you feel this way and I will look into what went wrong and come back to you with a response and a solution.

In some cases, you may wish not to react or send an acknowledgement of receipt too which is absolutely fine, if the email was highly inappropriate. You may want to the next step – CLARITY, before you respond.

For any queries, or to submit your worksheet, please complete your name and email to:

coaching@livinglifestressfree.com

In this section, we talk about the next 3 Cs- Clarity, Choice and Change.

CLARITY: It means to have a 360-degree overview, if you are the employer or manager – it is up to you to get a 360 or an all-round view of the problem. How do you get an all-round view?

- You could ask questions, send questionnaires, get an email survey etc. if it is a wider problem affecting the organisation.

- You could arrange to meet up with your team or individual members and try to get their perspective – people will speak out when they feel well supported and feel confident that they will not be victimised

In your personal life, it is important to get the views of your family if something is affecting the whole family.

It is important to know your responsibilities, and gathering more information helps to make well-informed decisions.

If you are planning a response – in terms of career, direction of the organisation,

It is important to prioritise your actions in accordance of their importance.

The purpose of clarity is to have as much as information as possible so that you can make well-informed decisions.

CHOICE: This step is relevant when you have delayed your reaction, you have better clarity over the situation. In this step - Choice, you have all the information you need and now you need to take Action. The goal of this step is to give you a sense of empowerment that no matter what the stressful circumstances are, you ultimately have a choice.

In 2020 we are gripped by the stress of the pandemic, but even with this adverse life event, you still have choices – choice whether you will explore other career options while being furloughed, option to plan your time at home, maintain regular exercise, keeping fit even in the midst of a lock down, choosing to eat healthy, choosing to spend quality time with your loved ones. Believe it or not, you also have power over how you choose to react when facing an argument. You have choices and control over your reaction. Irrespective of the adversity, you still have the power to make alternate choices. When life gives us challenges such as the pandemic, people are coming up with innovative ideas to earn money, learn different courses, making the most of the new-found time. Every choice you will make will have its own consequences, but this step is about taking responsibility for the choices you make. This gives a sense of empowerment, as you no longer play the blame game. You will gain sense of improved self-esteem, self-worth and in turn gain confidence within yourself.

If you believe in your ideas, let it out. Think and reflect what your core values are in life and then let these core values guide your decision making.

Circle of Expertise: When you plan to change your circumstances, you can always get free advice from your circle of expertise – they are your friends and family members whom you love and trust and know that they will give you honest opinion. It could be your peers, old teacher, a mentor and so on. People don’t take advantage of this and feel overburdened with the amount of research they have to do in order to gather information about a choice they want to make. This advice is free, and you are not obliged to follow it.

When you see negative experience as a learning opportunity, this always puts you in an advantage position.

CHANGE: When you start implementing Calm, Clarity and Choice in your life, it is inevitable that you will see changes within you and around you. With time, these changes, will become new habits. The old habits which were hard-wired to your brain will change as you reprogram your brain with new attitudes and patterns of thoughts and action. This is also known as ‘neuro-plasticity’. You are no longer the person lacking confidence, self-doubting, worrying but you are now more positive, more confident and achieve a sense of freedom.

Freedom from a sense of hopelessness, helplessness and self-doubt, while progressing towards achieving your goals.